You don't have low libido.
You have a libido.
(Me at the beach last week educating the next generation about the beauty and grace of hermit crabs.)
A reminder. You don't have low libido. You have libido. Your partner doesn't have high libido. They have libido. (Or vice versa) Have you ever wondered what the standard libido was? Because if there is a supposed "low" and a supposed "high" that would mean there is a "standard" to measure it by, right?
Wrong.
There is just libido. And arousal for sex (what I like to call it versus libido) is VERY dependent on your circumstances, environment and socialization. It actually has a lot less to do with your attraction to your partner than most people think.
The work is not making your arousal higher or lower to match your partner. The work is how to negotiate how you are both experiencing arousal so that you can have a sex life that meets both of our emotional and physical desires.
Once we can embrace arousal (libido) as a subjectable experience that has no standard for success, we can begin to heal our relationships.
I'm rooting for you and encouraging you to find self compassion for wherever your arousal lands.
Celeste
SPOTLIGHT
Our spotlight this week is of course on the reproductive rights of people with uteruses. If you know me at all, you know that my love language is data. As an educator, my actual job is to be well informed about my specific lane of work and to be able to aggregate that data and reproduce it on a palpable platform for the community. I'd love to share with you a few places that I rely on to get accurate, timely and helpful data. Get educated my friend. We've got a long fight ahead. #BansOffOurBodies
Guttmacher Institute - Reproductive Health Policy
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Health and Human Rights Journal - Abortion Law and Policy Around the World
The Determinants and Impact on State Abortion Restriction
This journal article in the American Journal of Economics and Sociology looks in part on how state abortion restrictions have no statistically significant impact on abortion rates.