Do you pretend to be asleep to get out of sex?

One of the top issues people discuss with me is sexual anxiety.  Nobody says "sexual anxiety" outright, but it comes across in how they describe their experience with sex.  

Here is what I hear:

  • I bristle when he touches me because I don't want it to lead to sex.

  • I'm typically silly when I initiate sex, but that is because I'm nervous they will say no.

  • I act like I'm asleep so my partner won't initiate sex when they come to bed. 

  • I'm just not sure when we will have sex next.

  • We don't cuddle or kiss much because we are both unsure if it will lead to sex.  One of us wants it to, and the other of us doesn't want it to.  So we are both wary.

All of these are an indication of anxiety around sex in the relationship.  More specifically, there is anxiety about when sex is or is not going to happen.  For many couples, this leads to a large cloud of anxiety that intrudes even the most nebulous actions, like a kiss on the cheek. 

There is a straightforward solution to lowering the anxiety you both feel about sex.  Clarity.  One of the first things that I talk to couples about is clearing the anxiety cloud about sex by finding some clarity around initiation, frequency and capacity for sex. You would be surprised at how fast the anxiety starts to melt away when you know when you are and more importantly when you aren't going to be having sex. 

If you find yourself in this sexual anxiety cloud, I would like to invite you to find clarity with me in the Long-Term Lover's Sex Seminar, starting on June 14th.  Let's get you feeling peace, ease and pleasure in your sex life.  Because you and your partner deserve it!

THE LONG-TERM LOVER'S SEX SEMINAR

AN INTIMATE SETTING TO LEARN WITH THE ABILITY TO ATTEND & ASK QUESTIONS ANONYMOUSLY + SPECIFIC SEX & COMMUNICATION HOMEWORK TO COMPLETE AFTER EACH SEMINAR

  • (2) 120-minute live video sessions with Celeste & the group

  • Replays of the live sessions

  • (1) 30-minute 1:1 phone session with Celeste after the seminar

  • Access to the Outercourse Webinar Replay + 10 New Things to Try in Bed Webinar Replay

  • Long-Term Lovers Guide

SPOTLIGHT

Mychal is the amazing librarian who has awesome stories about the folks that come into his library.  I'm currently mesmerized by him!  

@MYCHAL3TS

Celeste Holbrook