Why do you have sex?

I'd like for you to consider this:  Every behavior we do, we execute it because we want to feel something.  An emotion or a feeling.  

 

I watch my hermit crabs because I want to feel calm and present.  I put my brush away in the drawer because I want to feel happy and knowledgeable when I go to look for it in the morning.  I watch Selling Sunset because I want to feel like my own house and wardrobe sucks.  (Just kidding! I love my house and my t-shirt leggings combo!)

 

You get the idea.  We do not engage in behaviors for no reason.  We do them because we consciously or unconsciously want to experience an emotion or a sensation.  

 

Now, apply this to sex.  We have sex for ALL kinds of reasons, but we don't always stop to consider what those reasons are.  It can be very helpful to have a conversation with your partner about what they want to feel emotionally or experience with sensations during sex INSTEAD of just asking what they want, behaviorally. Here are some emotions and sensations to look at to help you get started. This is far from an all inclusive list.

 

I want to feel...

- empowered

- loved

- desired

- safe

- erotic

- pleasured

- giving

- receiving

- intimate

- connected

- wild

 

Next, you can discuss each other's words.  You might find that you have some in common, even if you argue about frequency or behaviors of sex.  It's possible that what you want to feel is similar, even if the behaviors that help you feel that way are different for each of you.  

Want more practical, direct and personal help?  

Check out my Long-Term Lover's Sex Seminar beginning on June 14th.  I'd be delighted to help you feel what you want to feel in your sex life!

Click here to learn more and save your seat!

Long Term Lovers Sex Seminar is for you if:

  • You are currently or plan to be in a long term relationship

  • Your relationship is strong, but you sometimes argue about sex frequency or quality

  • You want to know how to have great sex for the rest of your life with your partner

  • You and your partner are willing to work and negotiate for better sex

  • You are feeling that sex is getting stale and you want to infuse novelty

Here is what 's included:

  1. A small, intimate place to learn, capped at 10 (10 individuals or 10 couples)

  2. (2) 120-minute live video sessions with Celeste and the group with replays of the live seminars sent within 24 hours following the live event

  3. Specific sex and communication homework to do after each seminar

  4. (1) 30-minute personal phone session with Celeste after the seminar for questions and individualized help.

  5. The ability to attend and ask questions anonymously

  6. Access to Outercourse Webinar Replay

  7. Access to 10 New Things to Try in Bed Webinar Replay

  8. The Long-Term Lover's Guide

Dates and Times:

  • Video Session 1: June 14, 2023 from 8-10 pm CST

  • Video Session 2: June 28, 2023 from 8-10 pm CST

  • 30 Minute Individual Call with Celeste: Scheduled at your convenience after both seminars

Seats are limited!

Rooting for you,

Celeste

SPOTLIGHT

@prisonfeminism 

This account on Instagram is so beautiful.  It is a group building feminist programs to people who have caused harm as an alternative to incarceration.  Amazing. 

Celeste Holbrook