My kids are into stuff I wasn't into as a kid. I was riding horses, they are writing stories. I played outside, they play Zelda. One hobby they are both very practiced in is drawing. They've both been in art lessons and continue to hone their craft with hours on their sketchbooks. I've never tried to draw anything except winning lotto numbers.

In an effort to connect with my daughter Ella, I decided to try and draw with her on Monday afternoon. She was thrilled I grabbed some paper, and she helped me pick an animal to sketch from one of her "how to draw" books. We chose a bird.

The first few steps were actually circles and lines. With lots of extra marks. Then some triangles and long weird shapes that would eventually turn into a beak and feathers with some erasing and refining. Looking at the first few steps and then at the final product, I realized something grand.

Much of drawing is actually erasing.

(I recognize this isn't new for those of you who are artists, but it was certainly new to me.)

The beginning shapes are eventually erased into a final product.

Huh. That's interesting.

I worked and worked, sketching then erasing the original circles and lines until I had a cockatiel-ish bird.

So much of embracing a better sex life is erasing the early messages you received about sex. The rough-edged basic shaped messages of your youth do not serve you in adulthood. They must be addressed, erased, refined. Erase to embrace.

"Sex is dangerous and you will get pregnant or go to hell," eventually becomes "sex is complex and nuanced and although sometimes dangerous it's most often intended to be pleasurable and a way to connect with my partner."

"Sexual pleasure is mostly for men, and women produce that pleasure for men," becomes "sexual pleasure is for all bodies is the responsibility of the person experiencing the pleasure."

"Sex is defined as a penis going into a vagina," becomes "sex can be described by hundreds of behaviors and is created because we want to feel certain things like pleasure, connection or eroticism. Defining it more broadly not only includes people who don't have sex like me, but also allows me to have a great sex life for the entirety of my life."

Taking the basic shaped messaging of your youth and creating a refined nuanced and detailed message about sex is how you build an amazing sex life.

Or at least a bird that vaguely resembles a cockatiel.

P.S. My bird's neck was too long but Ella informed me that when that happens to her she just puts a necklace on it and it looks better. So I did. And it did. Also a good life lesson.

Rooting for you!

Celeste

Long-Term Lovers' Sex Seminar

Long-Term Lovers' Sex Seminar is for you if:

You are currently or plan to be in a long term relationship

Your relationship is strong, but you sometimes argue about sex frequency or quality
You want to know how to have great sex for the rest of your life with your partner
You and your partner are willing to work and negotiate for better sex
You are feeling that sex is getting stale and you want to infuse novelty

What's included:

A small, intimate place to learn, capped at 10 (10 individuals or 10 couples)
(2) 120-minute live video sessions with Celeste and the group
Specific sex and communication homework to do after each seminar
Replays of the live seminars sent within 24 hours following the live event
One 30-minute personal phone session with Celeste after the seminar for questions and individualized help.
The ability to attend and ask questions anonymously
Access to Outercourse Webinar Replay
Access to 10 New Things to Try in Bed Webinar Replay
Long Term Lovers Guide

The Long-Term Lovers' Guide includes:

Sexual Awareness Worksheet to fully understand each other's sexual needs and desires
The Erotic Sandbox activity to discover novel sexual experience you would both like to try
The Lusty Playlist activity to help arousal become longer and more enjoyable
The Sexual Deconstruction activity to fully understand how the messages you received growing up about sex impact your ability to show up authentically in sex as an adult
The Context and Environment worksheet which helps you gain awareness about how the responsibilities and your environment impact your ability to get aroused.

Dates and Times: