What holds you back in sex?
Shame is the most powerful master of emotions. It is the fear that we’re not good enough. - Brene Brown, Ph.D.
From the view of my practice, the biggest predictor of sexual dysfunction in a relationship is shame. The second predictor of sexual dysfunction is lack of education. Hold on to this nugget for a minute.
Sexual dysfunction is not predicted by the date you started having sex.
Or the person you began having sex with.
Or the lack of a marriage certificate.
Or the sexual positions or behaviors.
It is shame. Shame is the biggest predictor of sexual dysfunction followed closely by lack of education.
Take some time today to consider the ways shame may show up in your sex life. Here are some examples:
Do you think you don't "look" sexy? Do you think you take too long to come? Do you feel grossed out about sexual fluids? Do you have trouble touching yourself? Do you feel responsible for your partner's sexual pleasure, even if they are not putting that pressure on you? Do you feel like you are not "normal" when it comes to sex?
Shame might be interfering with your ability to show up as a whole human being in sex. I'd love to invite you to start becoming aware of how shame shows up for you and then start to soothe those parts of you that were given the message that you weren't good enough.
I'm rooting for you and your movement toward compassion and acceptance of who you are, in and outside of the bedroom.
Love,
Celeste
SPOTLIGHT
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