You are doing great, and here's why.
It's March and I'm here to tell you that you are amazing. You are doing a great job navigating sex. You really are! One of the best parts of my job is helping people validate themselves in their sex lives. Many people are doing far better than they think they are. This phenomenon happens for a few specific reasons.
1. Lack of sex education means that you aren't sure when you are doing it well or not well.
2. Sexual shame in society makes it difficult to talk in a real way with your peers about sex.
3. Media portrays sex as easy. It is not easy much of the time, even if the work is fun.
So if you are wondering if your sex life is healthy or not, try this. What are you comparing your sex life to? What knowledge do you have about sex and where did it come from? Start asking yourself better questions about sex...what do you want to feel vs what do you want to do? These questions can help you get a better sense of where you are in your sex life and maybe...just maybe, things aren't as bleak as you think!
Rooting for you always,
Celeste
SPOTLIGHT
Sometimes I tell people that I might not be the perfect fit as a provider. You might be best served by a person who has a more similar lived experience, especially when it comes to marginalized bodies. LGBTQ Psychotherapists of Color can help you find a therapist that is not only a beautiful fit for your mental health needs, but also has a deeper understanding of the complex trauma that is a result of systemic oppression.