The Unsexy Sexologist

I'm probably the unsexiest sexologist.  

My body type is "Telephone Pole Wrapped in Lasagna Noodles" and my makeup routine consists of Chapstick and air. (I'd much rather people be surprised when I put on makeup than when I don't.) I'm not sad about any of these things.

One hundred percent of my pajamas are full coverage and describing a particularly persistent stain on the couch is the extent of my dirty talk. 

The closest I have ever gotten "high maintenance" was standing in front of a Mariah Carey poster. 

I also have an amazing sex life, that I work on consistently.

Here's the deal.  Being "sexy" in the traditional way, the way the world sees it, has no bearing on whether you will have a good sex life.  If only "sexy" people had good sex, there wouldn't be much good sex happening at all.  

Much of what makes sex good is confidence.  When you are more confident about sex and yourself, you can experience more pleasure, more novelty and more connection.  Confidence allows sex not to be too serious. (Can we just all agree that sex is, at times, hilarious?  I mean the sheer number of humorous things that can happen when two people get naked together is mind boggling.) It allows you to explore and find new routes to pleasure.  Confidence liberates you for sexual growth.  And confidence is actually the sexiest thing you can own. 

Okay, so how do you garner confidence in the bedroom?  Simply get a great sex education, so you are equipped with a deep understanding of your body and your partner's body, surface and deconstruct the messages from your past that tell you you aren't good enough, step into vulnerability by trying something new and then gain resilience to keep trying. 

Easy peasy, right? 

Oh.  Right.  Not so easy.  That must be why we get the message that being "traditionally sexy" leads to good sex.  Because that is a simple answer.

And the wrong one.

So if you are like me, and think that taking a sexy photo involves popping your collar, please know that amazing sex is also available to you too.  Living in a what the world says is a "sexy" body or talking in a way that the world says is "sexy" are not the price you must pay to have pleasure and connection in your sex life.  Confidence through sex knowledge, consistent body and sexual deconstruction and openness to vulnerability are the most sure-fire ways to find pleasure and connection in your sex life. 

This is me, killing that "casually popping collar" instagram game. My friend Andy was not impressed.

Okay, I gotta run.  Which is easy for me because I only wear practical, supportive shoes. 

Love,

Celeste

P.S.  Want to get going on those steps to better sex?  Check out my online course called Elevate.