This is 11 year old me and pleated khaki shorts.

I was born old.  Case and point is this picture of me at 11 years old.  I am the...ehrm...tall one. What, exactly, is happening here? Am I babysitting these people? Am I a cool but responsible summer camp counselor?  Do I give safari tours at the zoo?  No, nope and NOPE. These are my friends, all roughly the same age as me.  And this is HOW I CHOSE TO DRESS AS AN 11 YEAR OLD, FOR MY OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY. 

For me, puberty decided to start at my feet and travel north.  By fourth grade, my feet looked like the Hobbit and a pair of snow skis had twins.  That year I was never late because my feet arrived ten minutes before I did.  

In fifth grade my legs grew a ton and I shot to the back row in class pictures.  I remember waking up at night, my calves aching from growing pains.  By eighth grade puberty marched right up my legs and into my uterus and decided to rest a while.  (I'm still waiting for puberty to happen above my waist...Any day now!)

I think puberty is a good indoctrination to the lifelong process of evolving.  We grow up.  Literally and emotionally.  Like puberty, some evolving morphs us into totally different forms.  Our lives take twists and turns outside of our control and we are forced to fit ourselves into new containers.  New communities, new jobs, growing and diminishing families. 

Other types of growth are more intentional.  Taking classes to help you advance your career.  Getting help so you can communicate with your spouse better.  Learning how to accept and love yourself just as you are. This is not evolving naturally.  This growth takes work and time and patience.  And it's worth it. 

I may have been born with an old aesthetic...and I do finally feel like my 38 year old self is just entering into the age I was supposed to be all along.  But that doesn't mean I haven't also evolved a ton.  Some on purpose, some not.  But all necessary.  

Listen friend, this life is not a series of before and after shots.  It is not about a final house renovation reveal or a glow up.  It is about the work, the evolution, the continued growth.  Work that makes your legs hurt and work that breaks your heart.  Work that gives you confidence and work that continues to help you love just who you are, right now. 

I'd like to challenge you. Get curious about where you can evolve in your relationship. What area is ready for some growth?  Communication?  Finances?  Co-parenting?  Sex?  

I hope what you find isn't discouraging, but rather a beautiful opportunity to morph into something better.  I'm rooting for you and I'm here for you!