Halloween is about facing what haunts us. So let’s talk about one of the oldest ghosts in the room: sexual shame.

He's sneaky. He shows up when you buy lingerie and instantly think “who do I think I am?”

He whispers when you want more pleasure but hear “good girls don’t.”

He hides behind purity rings, side-eye sermons, and our low-cut shirts safety pinned halfway up.

You don’t have to exorcise him gently. You can kill him.

Here’s how:

1. Identify the Body.
Name the message that makes you shrink. “I should only have sex if…” or “My partner NEEDS this so I have to…”

"I'm disgusted by my..."
Write it down. That’s your victim.

2. Choose Your Weapon.
Education? Therapy? Romance novels? A vibrator charged and ready for justice? Pick what helps you reclaim power.

3. Leave No Trace.
When the old belief shows up, don’t argue with her. Just say, “You’re dead to me,” and walk away.

Shame is a liar. Shame keeps you small not safe. And small isn’t powerful or authentic.

So this Halloween, instead of dressing up as something scary, become the scariest thing purity culture ever imagined. A woman who knows her own pleasure.

Happy haunting (and healing).

P.S. If you want company while you finish off your shame’s last heartbeat, come join The Pleasure Club. We do this kind of liberation work every month—without the pitchforks, but with plenty of sparkle.

How to Murder Your Sexual Shame

P.S. If you want company while you finish off your shame’s last heartbeat, come join The Pleasure Club. We do this kind of liberation work every month—without the pitchforks, but with plenty of sparkle.

Celeste Holbrook