Pleasure is not a reward, it's a resource
Pleasure isn't always instinctual—sometimes it feels like a foreign language we were never taught. It's not that we don't want pleasure; it's that we've been conditioned to put it last on the list. From an early age, many of us were taught that productivity equals worth. If we're not doing, fixing, or achieving, we're wasting time—or worse, being selfish. So, when it comes to slowing down and making space for joy, it can feel indulgent or even wrong.
In a world that celebrates hustle, grind culture, and self-sacrifice, choosing pleasure is often framed as rebellion. And for many, that's a deeply uncomfortable idea. If you've spent years caring for others, keeping the peace, or striving for perfection, the concept of prioritizing what feels good can feel foreign—or even unattainable. Life's responsibilities are loud, demanding, and relentless, leaving little space for the quiet whispers of joy.
But here's the truth: pleasure isn't selfish, and it isn't frivolous. Pleasure is a skill. Like any skill, it takes practice. It requires unlearning the guilt, silencing the shame, and reconditioning your mind to recognize that you are allowed to feel good. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to wait for the perfect moment. Pleasure isn't a reward; it's a resource—a vital one.
Whether it's five deep breaths in the morning, a long walk after work, or something far more daring, reclaiming pleasure is an intentional act of self-care. It's about expanding your capacity for joy and allowing yourself to experience it without apology. And the best part? Like any skill, the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
This month, I invite you to start practicing. Where will you begin?
Pleasure Club is back in 2025! We are learning together the skillset of pleasure. Calling all people pleasers, perfectionists and eldest daughter-types. You belong in Pleasure Club!
