The pleasure train explained
Pleasure is a train with three stops.
1) Wanting 2) Liking 3) Learning.
(Georgiadis, J. R., & Kringelbach, M. L., 2012)
When I wake up in the morning, before my feet scoot to the ground, I want coffee. I haven't even smelled it brewing or felt the heat of the liquid prior to it bubbling up next to my lips. But thousands of previous experiences have left indelible marks in my brain saying coffee is something I want. NOW. I flop into the kitchen, press the button on my selected pod and we are in business. The aroma lifts and I'm officially at train stop number two. Liking. Ohmygoodness do I like it. I sit on the couch, sipping my coffee for a good 30 minutes before I have to get my kids up for school. I enjoy the silence. I sip.. Soon, train stop number three. Learning. Am I satisfied? Do I want more coffee? Did it meet the needs of my body and brain? I'm learning from the wanting and the liking that YES, I am satisfied. No, I don't want more coffee because I've learned from other experiences that two cups is one too many and I get shaky. And yes, it met my needs. The wanting and liking have now passed and I've learned I'm satisfied. This whole experience is the train of pleasure.
When it comes to sexual pleasure, sometimes our train gets derailed. One reason this happens is because we are told what we should want. You should want sex more. You should want sex in this way. You should want to have this done to you. You should want to wait to have sex. You should want sex all the time. The "should" wants to overtake your true wants. And for most of us, the shoulds don't lead to the second stop…liking.
This week, think about the pleasure train. Wanting, liking and learning. If you never feel like you end up at the liking or learning station, you may want to assess your wanting. Is it possible that someone has hijacked your train and defining your wanting for you? I'd love to know what you find out!
P.S. - Thank you for your survey results last week! I'm using them to create more great webinars and learning opportunities for you!
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