The sweetest sound you will ever hear is...
Dale Carnegie says the most beautiful sound is someone speaking your name. I've always loved this. Partly because I love my name, Celeste, but mostly because our name identifies us as unique. It is how we are known.
Your name is the first thing people learn about you, “Hi my name is…”. Your name is the way in which you identify your work, your 401K, and your lunch. Your name is how your friends find you in a crowd, it is how you end a thoughtful note, and it is how you introduce yourself as somebody at the beginning of a presentation. Your name is the front door to who you are. One must know your name in order to enter into your life.
Do you know the feeling when somebody remembers your name? Not a good friend - that is expected, but somebody you met, liked and connected with a while ago and you see them again and they remember your name? Or do you remember a time where a lover called your name quietly and your skin felt warm? Or can you think of that moment of thrill when you see your name written on a card addressed just to you? That's the feeling of being known, being seen, being remembered. Others knowing your name helps establish your place in this world.
Feeling known in the world within areas that the world loves to talk about is easy. Your name on a check, your name on a diploma, you being known as a singer, a mother, or a marketing genius. Those are all sectors in which we love to be known. We embrace ourselves and others in all of these lanes.
I am Celeste, a business owner, a fun mama, a wife, a horse lover and a person who dislikes long stringy onions in her salad. After reading that sentence, you may be thinking, “Great! This is who Celeste is. I feel strangely more connected to her now that I know she hates long stringy onions.”
But, feeling known as a sexual being gets...tricky.
I am also Celeste, a woman who enjoys sex.
Do you notice any weirdness come up in your chest when you read that?
This happens because we aren’t allowed to talk about sex, especially not the good, fun parts. Sex is introduced as secretive in our society. Sex is sold as unknown, restricted...dark. Our culture tells us especially as women, that if we talk about sex, we are “dirty” or “easy.”
We often grow up without being known or seen in our sexuality because the people we are around are scared to give us time or space to discuss or to explore our sexuality. (Usually it is because they haven’t given themselves that time or space either.)
It now makes sense that feeling seen and validated in our sex lives is incredibly difficult. Because we are told our whole lives that sex is supposed to be a secret.
This is why it's life-changing to help people feel known and seen in their sex life.
It is often the very first time.
I listen to her words, what is said and what is not said. Her words are tender and new, and delicate. The gift of her thoughts, experiences and words about sex are sacred.
And I receive these words with reverence and honor. I want her to leave our session together feeling known, empowered enough to attach her name to her very own version of sex.
Whatever you are struggling with in your sex life, know that we are shattering the idea that you can’t bring those issues here. This is your safe place. This is where you are known and seen. This is where we gently call your name. And often, the simple act of having someone to share your honest pain and wildest thoughts with is the most beautiful part of healing.
Remember, I'm rooting for YOU.
Celeste
SPOTLIGHT
Lisa Gelobter is not only the Cheif Digital Service officer for the U.S., but she also helped create the technology in digital gaming and those little GIF's you love to send to your friends.