How about both?

It's not enough to be sex positive. You must also be sex educated.

Last week we discussed how the world wants us to fit into one of two sides of a binary when it comes to sex. Pure or perverse. When in reality, we all reside in a nuanced middle space, where we are trying to sort sex out for ourselves. We’re trying to figure out our own relationship with sex and how it can enhance our lives. Sex positivity is having an "open, tolerant or progressive attitude toward sex and sexuality." This is a beautiful stance, one that I would encourage everyone to lean toward!

But there is more to sex than just being sex positive. Having the most open attitude in the world doesn't help you have better sex unless you are also educating yourself.

It is not enough to be sex positive. You must also be sex educated.

This is where I believe we have much opportunity to do much better for our kids. I often come across clients who are raised in a sex negative purity culture environment with no sex education. But I also come across clients who are raised in a sex positive or at least sex neutral environment but still didn't get a solid sex education. Often both of these situations produce feelings of shame that they aren't getting sex "right." When we aren't given an education about sex we aren't empowered to make the choices that are healthiest for ourselves. Regardless of how sex is viewed in the home.

So I would encourage you to be sure you fill in the gaps of the sex education you never received, regardless of the type of home you grew up in. Give yourself comprehensive, pleasure-focused, trauma informed sex education, and watch your sex life bloom in ways you never thought possible.

Affectionately yours,

Celeste

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SPOTLIGHT

Sangeeta runs a south Asian feminist platform and podcast that focuses on how Asian culture has historically suppressed female pleasure and sexuality. She provides a safe space for South Asian women to discuss taboo topics. Everything from sexual harassment to nipple hair.

Check out her offerings here!

And don't forget to check out her Instagram!