Let's Get Vulnerable
We are continuing our work on moving past purity culture this week. If you missed the past few weeks, you can get caught up by heading over to the blog.
This week we are focusing on vulnerability. After you are aware of where you are, where you want to be in sex, and you have deconstructed the sexual messaging from your past that is holding you back...it's time to get vulnerable.
Okay, I know it sounds scary, but before you delete this e-mail, let me tell you about Holy Rain. You know that magical moment when the rain is lifting and the sun is coming out, but it hasn't fully quit sprinkling? So the vibrant sun rays are shining through the raindrops and the entire world looks sparkly and fresh? I call that Holy Rain and it is my absolute favorite weather phenomenon.
You may still be soggy, but the sun is shining and you can see the end of the storm. A seductive mix of hope and grit. HOLY.
In your sex life, when you are addressing purity culture and it's influence on you, there eventually becomes a moment where you see the hope on the other side. Your thoughts are starting to change. Your beliefs and education about sex are growing and evolving.
This is the time to get vulnerable. This is the moment when you are ready to try something new. Novelty in sex is the root of arousal and growth. But don't automatically assume that trying something new in sex means pirate role-play and floggers (although it may, and that's okay too.) Novelty for you may mean touching your clitoris for the first time. Or it may mean sex with the lights on. Or it may mean saying no for the first time. Whatever it is, it takes guts and grit and hope. And vulnerability is HOLY.
Sometimes trying something new pays off in spades! And you both are left breathless on the floor with the panties on the ceiling fan.
Other times, trying something new fails miserably, and you are both on the floor breathlessly laughing while trying to get the panties from the dogs mouth.
The end result matters zero because success after vulnerability in sex is not the goal. Vulnerability itself is the goal.
If you were willing to try...to step out on a limb...that is the sign of growth.
HOLY.
Thinking of you as you continue your sexual work. You've got this. Tune in next week for our final step in purity culture reframing.
Love,
Celeste
SPOTLIGHT
Y'all. I found this athlete, Mirna Valerio, on YouTube the other day and I found her SO inspirational. My best friend Alisha introduced me to running in grad school and I have been in running shoes ever since. However, I've often found myself saying I'm not a "real" runner because I'm not fast and I don't have the "body" of a runner. However, seeing Mirna take on Ultra Marathons and even more challenging, managing the fatphobia that people spew at her...let me just say, she's one impressive woman. Check out her website here and then click the button below to watch this short documentary on her.
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