When he asked "What do you do for a living?"

This is a story about that one time I had the best comeback line ever. 

 

Sometime, long before COVID, I sat down in my seat on a plane.  I was flying for work, settled neatly in the window seat.  A man sat next to me and quickly started chatting.  His second question was, "What do you do for a living?"

 

As you can imagine, I've had my fair share of odd glances when I share that I teach people how to have better sex for a living.  I'm unphased by the common gasp or eyebrow raise.  (Erasing shame is my jam, so I'm happy to bring it to the surface.)  I gave my typical response.

 

"I own my own sexology practice where I teach people how to find more pleasure and connection in their relationship and bedroom." 

 

A fine answer, if I do say so myself.  However, Mr. Misogyny decides to go and make things creepy. 

 

"OH!  Wow!  Really?  That's awesome."  He then ducked his head and scooted closer to me. "So, uh, what is your favorite, you know, POSITION?"  He said in a lower, raspy, desperate tone, smile creeping up at the sides of his mouth. 

 

In a magical moment of clarity and wit, I narrowed my eyes and hissed back. 

 

"CEO."

 

NOT TODAY SATAN.  I popped my earbuds in and let Mariah Carey fly me all the way to Boulder.  

 

You see, I didn't owe this random stranger any kind of explanation.  Not of my life, my work and certainly not my favorite sexual position.  

 

Let me assure you there are many things you too do not owe anyone an explanation for.  Here is a highly truncated list:

  • your sexual desires

  • the food you want to eat

  • the dreams you have

  • your weight

  • your need for rest

  • your need for help

  • the way you dress

  • your career

  • the number of kids you do or don't have

  • who you choose to worship or not

  • your birthing plan

  • the way you keep your house

  • the number of vibrators you own

  • how many fur children you have

The list actually goes on until infinity.  This weekend, work toward letting go of the need to explain the choices and circumstances that are yours, and yours alone.  

I love you.  Keep doing you my friend. 

Celeste

SPOTLIGHT

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Ev'Yan Whitney is a Sexuality Doula, a term that she created and developed. She educates, facilitates, supports, and hold space for women and femme-identifying folks who are ready to step out of shame, confusion, and fear within their sexuality and into erotic empowerment—whatever that looks like for them.

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I am so grateful to be able to share how to move toward your most pleasurable and connected sex life. Find the course, consult, or package that works best for you!

Dana Jennings