Would you actually know how to drive?

Take a wild ride down memory lane, back to that driver's education course you had to take when you were just a bonnie wee lass.

Imagine if the instructor had only taught you about the engine, how to work the air conditioning, how to fill up with gas and where the blinker was. Would you then know how to drive?

Nope. You would know how the car works, but certainly not how to drive it.

This is what happens when our sexual education is limited to reproductive anatomy. Teaching about anatomy is great, but it is only a small part of sex education. (Did you know that only about 3% of the sex we have is actually for procreation? Why, then is "the talk" about "where babies come from?" and not where pleasure comes from?) You won't know how to have enjoyable, connective sex by only learning about the penis, uterus, sperm and ovaries.

You would know how the body works, but not how to use it.

That is why it is fundamental to learn all the aspects of sexuality. Not just reproductive anatomy, but pleasure anatomy, communication and safety. Sex acts, arousal types, positions and aftercare. How to pivot when things aren't going well. How to turn yourself on. How to ask for what you want. How to develop your own sexual ethic that drives your sexual choices. Everything from the spiritual to the behavioral. It is all required education!

I'm glad you didn't have that instructor for driver's ed. I'm glad you are a safe, fun, enthusiastic driver, who not only knows about her car, but also has the skills to drive it. My wish for you is that you would have had a comprehensive sex education too. But unfortunately for the vast majority of us, that wasn't the case.

The gaps in sex education that were withheld from you may still be affecting your sex life. So if you are ready for more connection and pleasure and less obligation and mediocrity, I'm here for you.

Rooting for you!

Celeste

Spotlight

Photo from The Harvard Gazette, courtesy of Tarana Burke

Tarana Burke is the founder of the Me Too Movement.

Burke began ‘me too’ for young Black women and girls from low wealth communities. She developed culturally-informed curriculum to discuss sexual violence within the Black community and in society at large. Similarly, the ‘me too’ movement seeks to support folks working within their communities to attend to the specific needs of their own community/communities. For example, this may mean supporting disabled trans survivors of color working to lead and create events/tool kits/etc. with other disabled trans survivors. Together, we can uplift and support each other to strengthen a global movement to interrupt sexual violence. #metoo

Learn more about Tarana here!