Your feelings are valid.

My absolute favorite verse in the Bible is in John. It also happens to be the shortest verse in the Bible which is handy. You know, for when church people ask me what my favorite verse in the Bible is. Here you go. It is John 11:35. 

"Jesus wept." 

 Isn’t it lovely?  Not because it is the shortest (that’s a bonus though, TBH) but because it illuminates Jesus in one of the most compassionate scenarios of the Bible.  The scene: He has been called to heal Lazarus, but when he gets there, Lazarus has already died. Mary and Martha are devastated. Jesus sits down and cries with them.  Jesus weeps, with the sisters. About the death of their brother.   

Here is the thing though.  He knew he was going to raise Lazarus up from the dead.  He knew Lazarus would be alive again. But that is not what he told Mary and Martha, who were grieving for their brother.  Instead of telling them that it would "all be okay" and that we will "see him again soon,"....he simply cried with them. Total compassion.  Total empathy of the heart. We witness him being immersed in the suffering of others, simply because they were suffering. Period.

How validating it feels to have somebody sit with you and see you, really see you.  I see you are angry, sad, lonely, devastated or empty. I will sit with you and feel this feeling with you, because what you feel is VALID. 

You are VALID.

I love this.  I love this because it gives us permission to sit and cry together.  To simply be. To do this without trying to make things better or reframe the situation. 

To feel the pain of loss caused by the richness of love.

He didn’t cook or send flowers or help make arrangements or give them space.

He wept.

When my own brother died, my friend Monika did this for me. Within minutes she came to my side and sat down. She didn't cook or clean or fuss in my house.

She wept. 

This strange Easter weekend, there will be moments of collective sadness. Of not being with ones we love, of not sharing a meal, of not watching our kids delight in Easter egg hunts together.

Even more sadness as we witness so much loss. Of life, of jobs, of touch.

These moments of sadness are valid. Your sadness is valid. In these moments, we don't need to reframe or look forward or find the silver linings. Your sadness is valid, as it is.

We can simply be sad. We can feel the pain of loss caused by the richness of our love.

I'll be here with you, sitting too. I love you.

Celeste