Good s*x isn't natural.
Just this week a client said to me, "but I should know how to do this, right? Why is this so difficult?" in reference to initiating sex with her partner.
This sentiment comes up often, and my response is always, "How would you know? Who taught you how to initiate sex?" Unlike almost every other behavior, we simply do not get taught or modeled most of the intricacies of sex. And the sex that is modeled for us in movies and porn is always, 100% performative. It isn't (typically) a good example of how to do things in your own sex life.
As you continue to refine and negotiate sex in your own relationship, I want to encourage you. If something feels difficult or confusing in sex, it probably is! Good sex is not a natural phenomenon, just like eating good food. We are biologically built to eat food, but we have to learn how to prepare it in a way that makes it edible, which takes time and practice. Sex is the same. We are biologically built for sex, but we have to learn (and relearn!) how to make it pleasurable.
Ready to hone your sex skillset? Check out my current offerings below:
Pleasure Club March/April 2025
You’ve mastered resilience—navigating life’s challenges and carrying the mental load with strength and grace. But what if you could expand your capacity for joy, connection, and yes, pleasure?
Pleasure isn’t always easy, especially in a world that often feels overwhelming. But here’s the good news:
Pleasure Club can help.
Together, we’ll explore how to prioritize and reclaim your pleasure—without guilt or overthinking. Here’s what’s waiting for you:
Your Pleasure Club Membership Includes:
Two 90-Minute Live Group Sessions
Join me and your fellow club members on 3/25 and 4/15 at 7:30 PM CST for interactive sessions designed to make pleasure fun, approachable, and accessible. ($375 value)
A Personalized Pleasure Box
Delivered to your door, this box includes a luxury sex toy and other curated goodies to help you explore new sensations—all accompanied by a personal note from me. ($150+ value)
One Year of Velvet Box All-Access Courses
Access all 26 of my courses covering everything from Purity Culture to Kink and BDSM. These are perfect for solo learning or stay-at-home date nights with your partner. ($250 value)
The Pleasure Club Workbook
A guide to help you break down personal barriers to pleasure—both in and out of the bedroom. ($10 value)
"Outercourse: All the Pleasure, None of the Penetration" Webinar Replay
Stream this insightful session immediately upon joining. ($49 value)
The Erotic Sandbox Activity
A tool to ignite creativity and playfulness in your pleasure journey.
Private Group Chat for Members Only
Connect with others in a safe, supportive space to share wins, ask questions, and celebrate your progress.
SPOTLIGHT
Loft22 Cakes is a bakery in my hometown of Fort Worth you certainly don’t want to miss!