You don't have to want the same things in sex
The benefits of sex differ between people.
You may find it helpful to know that you and your partner don't have to want the same benefits of sex. People have sex for a variety reasons that can change, and it is normal if you and your partner find different satisfaction from sex.
For example, you might want sex because it brings you a great amount of pleasure and your partner engages in sex because of the connection he feels. Both are valid reasons to want sex.
Problems can arise when one partner is not satisfied with sex unless they think that their partner is getting exactly the same thing. They REALLY want their partner to orgasm, or feel intense pleasure, or have incredibly connective emotions...whatever it may be, asking your partner to want the same things out of sex as you get can be problematic.
I'd like you to get curious about what you want out of sex and then have a conversation with your partner about what they want out of sex. It's totally okay if it is different!
Need help with this or other hard sex conversations?
Let me be your sexual Switzerland!
SPOTLIGHT
Ericka Hart is a racial/ social / gender justice disrupter as well as a kick ass sex educator. Their story went viral after showing up to the Afro Punk festival topless, showing their double mastectomy scars. (This is the kind of friend you want to festival with, am I right?)