I was talking to a friend the other day who had recently been playing Play Dough with his daughter. When she began to excitedly smoosh the different colors of Play Dough together, he instinctively tried to stop her, afraid the result would be permanent. After a short pause of reflection, he realized that he was imposing his mental limits on her curiosity. When he let go of his own idea of what playing with Play Dough “should” look like, he relished in his daughter’s innocent curiosity.
Curiosity is the strong desire to know or learn something. Curiosity is a undulating, exponential, exciting roadmap to the places we want to be and the people we want to become.
So when did we stop asking questions? When did we stop trying new things? How does this loss of curiosity affect us? What happens to us, to our life, to our relationships when we stop being curious? Could it be that curiosity makes us better? Could it be that curiosity makes us better…in bed? (Gasp!)
The answer of course is yes. Being curious about sex is how you got to where you are, right? You were once curious about what was underneath your underwear, and then curious about what was underneath his underwear. And then curious about how certain touches made you feel, and how reading something saucy made you aroused, and how when you met that delightful fellow, you were curious about what made him aroused.
What would it feel like if I…?
What would she think if I…?
Where could I use this?
What would it sound like if I…?
How many times could I…?
What does this smell like?
When should I…?
Could you tell me the last thing you were curious about?
Many couples stop being curious. We stop asking questions. We fall into the trap of thinking we know everything about our partner.
But we don’t.
We are constantly changing, renewing. You may love the same bands you did in high school, (Spin Doctors anyone?) but you have also grown to love new ones. Since the beginning of your relationship, you may have started to love new foods, new favorite movies, new places and new friends.
Your sex life is no different.
So my challenge to you is to get curious again. Go ahead and see what happens when you mix the colors of Play Dough. Ask that question. Try that thing. You will never know and you will never grow until you try.