Have you ever felt so stressed out that you can’t even fathom getting through the day, much less having sex that night? You aren’t alone. Many people find it difficult to get in the mood for sex when lying awake, trying to navigate the day’s endless worries.
There are three particular types of stress that have a negative impact on sexual activity:
1. Internal stress
2. External stress
3. Critical stress
Internal stress is the conflict that can be felt between partners. This sort of tension can often stem from a multitude of triggers, but ultimately the strain is within your relationship, not from something external.
External stress is situational and related to the environment around you, stemming from daily encounters work, kids or finances, etc.
Critical stress is that which happens under more extreme circumstances and are not associated with daily occurrences. Examples include the death of a loved one, unemployment or a serious illness.
What these three types of stress have in common is that they can cause a decrease in desire or even ability to get aroused in the bedroom. However, you may have to deal with each type of stress differently to achieve better results in the bedroom.
Internal stress is often the cause of lack of desire for women. This can mean that while relaxation techniques such as meditation may work for some external stress issues, typically a woman must focus on her relationship with her partner in order to ease internal stress. Communicating to your partner about your feelings and discussing solutions to ease the tension between you may be difficult, but with two open and honest partners, it can lead to fulfilling stress relief and consequently the return of passionate exchanges in the bedroom.
In contrast, men are more likely to struggle with external stress, which affects their ability to achieve an erection. The stress and pressure of a long day at work may easily cause a lack of performance in the bedroom, even if the desire is present. More traditional stress relief techniques such as deep breathing, massage or exercise can be very helpful in getting the desired results in the bedroom, regardless of a harried day.
Critical stress may not happen often, but when it does, it may shut down the desire for sex for both men and women. When these life-changing events happen, remember to be patient with yourself and your partner. Communicate your feelings to one another and focus on other ways that you can be intimate and supportive. Although large negative life events may seem overwhelming, eventually you will return to being intimate with your partner. Additionally, don’t be nervous to seek professional help if things seem too overwhelming to handle on your own.
The great news is that sex and stress can have a wonderful positive cycle! When you have sex, your stress will actually decrease. The release of feel-good endorphins that are triggered by an orgasm can help you have a more positive attitude about the stress in your life. The intimacy between you and your partner can also strengthen your bond and help you deal with the stress that comes your way together.