Sex Questions from Christian College Students

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college girl sun hairMy mission is to provide a safe place for people of all ages to talk about sex. Working on college campuses is one of my favorite spaces to further this mission because many of these students are in the process of figuring out who they are and how they relate to sex in the bigger picture of their life.  I recently had the great opportunity to speak to a group of phenomenal college students on a Christian college campus about how to navigate sex and make sexual choices that would set them up for a healthy, long lasting sex life.  I spoke to a large group of both gentlemen and ladies first, and then later I spoke to the men and women in separate groups. In the separate groups, they had the chance ask anonymous questions on notecards, which I then answered up front to the best of my ability.  This is something that I do for most groups that I work with and I am always interested and impressed with the type and depth of questions.  I wanted to share with you some of the questions that I have been asked from Christian college students over the past few years.  As you read them, start to think about how you would handle this question if your college age child or college age friend asked it to you.  I would also challenge you to think about how we can provide better platforms and places for students (college and younger) to talk about their sexual choices and get help when they are trying to navigate what will be best for them.  Here are just a few of the questions (and a few comments) I have received over the past few years.

From Gentlemen:

  • “How common are STIs for a college male?”
  • “Is it healthy to have multiple orgasms in one session?”
  • “Is it appropriate in a relationship to ask about your significant other’s sexual past?  If so, at what point in the relationship do you ask?”
  • “Are blowjobs healthy Christian sex?”
  • “How much sex is too much sex?”
  • “Do you have to have a traumatic event in your past to get addicted to porn?”
  • “Why do churches promise help from the pain of sex addiction but never do so in a one-on-one way?”
  • “What is the craziest sex question you have ever had?”
  • “How do you keep intimacy in a non-sexual dating relationship?”
  • “Are toys a good idea to use in intercourse?”

From Ladies:

  • “Why are boys taught to be sexual beings, but not girls?”
  • “How far is too far when it comes to trying to stay pure in a relationship?”
  • “Why is being a girl such a struggle?”
  • “It’s nice to finally talk about sex and anything related to that, not just abstinence because there are people out here who are having sex already.”
  • “Sometimes when I am with my significant other, all i think about is being with him.  What is a good way to control my feelings?”
  • “What is the perfect honeymoon to be like in a sexual way?”
  • “How does sex before marriage effect a dating relationship committed, long term or not?”
  • “Why do guys want to experience more sexual things than women?”
  • “My mom says sex is painful emotionally.  Is this true??  If so, how or why?”
  • “Is it okay to “explore” with sex during marriage?  AKA Fifty Shades of Grey within a marriage?”
  • “Does sex feel better for the guy or girl?”
  • “If I bleed while getting fingered, should I see a doctor?”
  • “What are your thoughts on consensual, healthy BDSM?”
  • “The last time I had sex was today!”

As you read through these, what surprises you?  What makes you happy?  What is disturbing to you?  If you have a minute, let me know what you think in the comments or send me an e-mail.    I would be delighted to hear from you!

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