Dear Cracked Nipples:
Maybe you don’t have cracked nipples but rather cracked knuckles from all the hand-sanitizing and bottle washing. Or maybe it is a broken washing machine or a dilapidated diaper bag that is placing you in the precarious position of trying not to hate your new mom title.
I know you. You are the one with the smile that says you have moments of soul piercing euphoria followed by days of soul crunching exhaustion.
You are the one who constantly has more questions than answers, has more anxiety than air and more wishing than appreciating.
I see you. I see you wondering if you will ever feel yourself again. I see you longing for just a moment by yourself. Or an embrace with your partner that isn’t dripping with disappointment from the lack of sex.
You see those “stretch” marks on your belly, boobs, legs…brain? Do you see the red in your eyes and the frazzle in your hair? All that is just grand. So perfect.
“Why” you ask? “How could this possibly be perfect?!”
Because these are the marks of a true artist on a fantastically creative endeavor. These are indications of the most beautiful creation. The eruption of new life, like lava, can leave remarkable stories on the earth of your skin.
Clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews?
In Psalm 139:13 David says:
For you created my inmost being; you wove me together in my mother’s womb.
“This is what the LORD says– your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, the Maker of all things, who stretches out the heavens, who spreads out the earth by myself,
This little squirmy thing you hold at night is your finest piece of art, your most well known composition, your most celebrated work of non-fiction. This creation will be what you are known for. He will reflect your attention, love and time. Your walk and your smile will be nuanced in the way she moves and people will know you by knowing her.
Cracked Nipples…Let me ask you, do you know what is so special about any grand work of art? Do you know why we are fascinated with Mona Lisa’s smile? Do you wonder why you can’t get enough of Shakespeare or Bono?
It is because we wonder, at least a tiny bit, what the artist or author was thinking or experiencing when they created such masterpeices. What were they like? What were they doing that created such brilliance? Who did they lose? Who did they love?
It is the way the art reflects the artist that keeps us coming back for more. The subtle way the verse bends or the way the paint raises that speaks volumes about the person with the pen or paintbrush or guitar.
Your squirmy piece of art is a literal reflection of her creator.
You and your squirmy piece of art are a reflection of THE Creator.
This reflection of THE Creator causes us to wonder, What is He like? What was He doing? Who did He lose and who did He love?
Get this crazy fact:
In Hebrew, the word usually translated as compassion means ‘the mother’s womb’: it denotes the love of a mother for the child of her womb. It refers to a range of feelings including goodness, tenderness, patience and understanding. It expresses the tender aspect of God’s love. The motherly aspect of God’s love.
That is what He was doing! That is what He is like! Compassion!
That is what he was feeling when he formed the art in your womb and when he formed you!
“For you created my inmost being; you wove me together in my mother’s womb.”
He formed you in compassion.
We are not born from a night of passion.
We are FORMED from a God of compassion.
Cracked Nipples. Today, as you go on to day three of deodorant acting as an alternative to an actual shower, remember how you were formed. Remember how little one was created. You may be a starving artist (or at least hungry from breastfeeding every 45 minutes) but you were formed with compassion. Let compassion surround you like a womb. Let it slip into your bones and muscles and your heart and your mind.
You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are a brilliant mother.
And you are a reflection of The Creator, formed in compassion.
With love and more love,